Dear Person-I'm-Too-Lazy-To-Look-Up-So-We'll-Say-LotusTwister,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it when I saw the shrunken head under the bus and I saw you sit on Manchester United's Goalkeeper. I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep the oil stocks as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break the incarnation as an Eskimo.
Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
Marrow
-Epilogue-
Lotus was reincarnated as an Eskimo, I made millions from the oil stocks, and the affair is, indeed, over. I'